Dos and Don’ts in a Long Term Relationship

by Jency Pedersen

Jency Pedersen picture

Relationship advice may be hard for anyone to follow, especially when we all have our own opinions on how a relationship should be. We also have our own morals and values based on what we believe should be in a relationship. Regardless, there are some basic helpful tips on the do’s and dont’s in a relationship that should never go away or burn out. These are essential to keep you and your significant other in love.

DO listen to each other: Couples who have been together for a while often forget to listen to each other. They almost become numb to the stories about their significant other’s day. You become so familiar with your partner that you forget to seem interested or excited about what happened within their day, but it is important to make your other half feel loved. You need to give some respect and listen, even if it is the same old story.

DON’T bring up the past: Understand that it is important to trust your partner enough to tell them about your troubled past, or to tell them about the silly mistakes you have done in past relationships. It is never okay to throw it in their face when you are having an argument, or to think it is okay just because your girlfriend/boyfriend has done it too. Two wrongs don’t make a right. Cheyenne Varney, Junior at Roy High says “If you bring up the past, you bring up negative things you don’t want to hear and it causes issues.” If you have had a past fight on something and have made up and moved on about whatever it was, don’t bring it up in your next fight. Simply let the past stay in the past.

DO compliment each other: When you first got in the relationship you always complimented your partner. After a while you forget to say the little things like ‘you look nice’ or ‘you smell good.’ You became so used to your partner and comfortable around them you don’t really care about complimenting them. You may think that your significant other already knows you think they look good, but I promise it is nice for them to regularly hear.  It does nothing but put a smile on their face hearing that they look good.

DON’T compare them: All relationships will have problems but that does not mean you can compare them, especially to your ex. Your other half will have their own little ‘things’ that they do and you’ll have to learn how to love each and every one of them. Somehow you will find ways to love how they squeeze the toothpaste bottle or how they face the toilet paper. Not all battles have to be a war, and you shouldn’t throw it in their face and say “Well this is how my ex did it.” If you loved how your ex did things so much then maybe you shouldn’t be with you are with now.

DO be interdependent: In a relationship you have to remain independent. Two independent functioning people are the only two that work in the long run. Being co-dependent is unhealthy and won’t work because you depend on your loved one for fulfillment. You don’t know your self worth unless it is with them. You have to know and love yourself before you can truly connect to someone. Remaining independent is healthy because you know how to be alone and be happy. This may seem like weird advice but it’s healthy for relationships because these rules help you build yourself and then your partner.

DON’T forget the passion: After a while couples forget about the passion. PLEASE, don’t let this happen! After you get out of that ‘honeymoon’ phase, you forget to take him/her out on dates or forget the constant kisses and the spontaneous “I love you’s.” You don’t show affection as much as you used to and you don’t flirt anymore.  This is when couples start to get bored and reach out for attention and exciting new things or people. You have to remember to love each other and actually show it. Don’t just assume they know.

Everybody has different views on how relationships should be but it is good to follow these basic rules to keep your relationship happy, and more importantly, in love.

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